a surprising realization

I was struck with a somewhat shocking revelation the other day as I was thinking about my life lately: as I approach 30 there are people who are starting to look up to me for wisdom and as a role model (???). Please know that this said in a spirit of humility (not to mention shock, surprise, and confusion!). I have always been the kind of guy who finds himself looking up to others--right now, were someone to ask me, I could probably name five to ten people in my life who I really look up to and respect for their wisdom and knowledge. Now, as a result of spending more time working with youth, I see that there are young people who appear to be looking up to me as someone they wish to emulate. My initial reaction to a few of them has literally been to say "don't be like me, whatever you do, because I am a train wreck and there are many other people who are far more qualified to have an influence in your life--I have little to offer you." But the more I considered that reaction, the more I thought that there is a positive way to react, rather than to be negative. Why not allow the knowledge that I am being "looked up to" be an impetus for living my life with integrity--in essence, living up to the confidence that people may be putting in me as a role model?

If there are people looking to me, I want my life to show that it's possible to live your faith with conviction, to treat your spouse respectfully and lovingly, and to serve others willingly and unselfishly. I want my life to testimony of grace and love for others, and right now I am a LONG way from that--I screw up so much and wonder how I even make it through each day sometimes. However, it is something to work toward...