reminders

It had been one of those rare days where work had been agonizing, testing me every minute with problem after problem that demanded an immediate solution. When I finally left thirty minutes after my day was supposed to end I was struggling to hold myself together emotionally. Along with the myriad tasks and impromptu meetings I had been rushing between, the day had been spent contemplating the hurts in my life and I was sinking deeper into a gulf of self-pity and frustration. That's when I stepped outside and was hit by the force of the icy gale as it cascaded through the courtyard. There is no better reminder that you are alive than the cold winter wind ripping through you--it brings the present acutely into focus as it seems to slice you in half. I fastened my wool coat more tightly around me and trudged toward the bus stop.

As I exited the courtyard the sun had dropped down below the horizon leaving a thin sheet of light that faded upward into increasingly darkening shades of blue, then inky black. I stopped dead in my tracks as I was struck by the sheer magnificence of the scene. The buildings towered above me, sharply silhouetted against this backdrop as as I gazed at them through a cloud of my own breath. My feelings of pain and defeat were momentarily replaced by unmitigated awe and the most life-affirming sense of my own insignificance in the light of my Creator. Though the city was abuzz around me, it was as if for that brief moment the world ground to a standstill. I felt so small yet sensed God's presence so strongly. I realized that I needed to be humbled and have my attention drawn away from my own anger and self-pity, which is exactly what happened when I took the time to look around and really 'see.'

This snapshot in time did not eradicate my struggles, but it was a timely reminder of life's beauty and the abundance of blessings that have been lavished on me. Hopefully its memory will continue to prompt me to look beyond the end of my nose at the world around me more often. Lord knows I need it...