I read a great quote today from Anne Lamott regarding having realistic expectations about forgiving another:
"Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back. You're done. It doesn't necessarily mean that you want to have lunch with the person."
Sometimes we seem to think that forgiving someone needs to compel us to pursue deeper relationship with them and become good friends, but I don't think that's what we're called to do. I think we're called to love others through our actions, which includes forgiveness, but I don't necessarily think it's realistic to like everyone. Thoughts?
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4 comments:
I love Anne Lamott. She's probably hit back at a few perpetrators in her time, so being ready to "not hit back" would be a big deal.
I like what Jean Vanier says about Forgiveness in "Becoming Human" : To forgive means that change can occur, that human redemption is possible (153). It goes a bit further than just being able to tolerate someone...it allows for the possibility of reconciliation
Chris
Here are some words that helped me forgive, from Daisaku Ikeda:
"The heart of one person moves another's. If your heart is closed, then the doors to other people's hearts will also shut tight . . . There is no need for us to struggle to make ourselves fond of people we find disagreeable . . . [However] it's much more valuable to look for the strengths in others. You gain nothing by criticizing people's imperfections. To develop a bigger heart, please try [praying] for the happiness of [others]. Gradually, you will cultivate tolerance and broad-mindedness."
Often what we can't forgive someone for is really what we dislike about ourselves. Forgiveness, and inner peace, starts with our own self-awareness, and the realization of our interconnectedness with all things.
you need to forgive americans.
I read this on a bulletin board at the hospital once,
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the rose leaves on the heel that has crushed it"
I like to think that my forgiveness sticks to the person who has wronged me, and in some way makes their life more beautiful.
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