I recently started reading Donald Miller's To Own A Dragon, a hilarious and poignant book about growing up without a father, and as I was on the bus this jumped out at me:
And in life, I figure, you are going to pretty much do the things that make you feel good about yourself, make you feel important and on purpose, and walk away from the things that make you feel like a loser. I distinctly remember this phase in my life, this time when I started writing, as a kind of fork in the road. On one hand, a good friend and I had just discovered a quick and easy way to break into houses, stealing loose change from jars on people's dressers. And then there was this church thing going on, and it wasn't like I was deciding which person I was going to become; it's more like I was swimming in a river and there were two equal currents. I could have very easily ended up in prison--first breaking into houses, then falling in with the wrong crowd, then drugs, and so on and so on. A statistic. David Gentiles was the person who threw out a rope. He was a father figure. People assume when you're swimming in a river you are supposed to know which way you are going, and I guess some of the time that is true, but there are certain currents that are very strong, and it's when we are in those currents we need somebody to come along, pull us out, and guide us in a safer direction.
I was fortunate that even though I didn't live with my father (who is a wonderful man and taught me a lot), I had an amazing stepfather who loved me like his own son and did his very best to guide and teach me. And all along the way I've had my own 'David Gentiles' figures, both those older and my peers, who have loved me enough to invest in me and guide me. It's only now, as I find myself and Caitlin in the position of helping to guide others, that I realize how important these characters were in my life. From my stepfather, to my best friend Andy, to the boss who took a chance on me when I was 16 and coming off of a really horrible previous work experience, each of them instilled confidence in me and made me feel valued. I pray that I can be that person for others.
Thanks to all of you who read this and have taken the time to guide me and invest me in me throughout my life. You know who you are and I'm a better person for knowing you.
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3 comments:
I absolutely love this post. And this I would add ...
The 'influencers' in my life weren't necessarily the hippest and the coolest people around. They were people who gave me lots of time and tones of grace. In a sentence: all of us can be responsive and redemptive influences.
Randy
Thanks for considering me one of your 'rope-throwers' Matty. It's an honour.
However, I want to affirm the fact that you have been and still are a rope-thrower for me. It's not just in the last while that you've gotten to the place of guiding others, but you have done so for decades. I believe it is your loyalty and dedication to friendship that has allowed you to be a 'redemptive influencer' on so many people's lives. You give time to people, and that is a gift that will never fade.
Thanks for being a great friend.
Thanks Andy. I guess I tend to see my impatience and think that I am not much of an influence on people. Sarcasm and pretending not to care as much as I actually do are both weapons I tend to employ--how often have you heard me dimiss things out-of-hand as "crap" or "stupid"? I guess that's the Matty I see more often than not!
I do appreciate the fact that you take time for me and have steered me right more times than I'd like to admit! ;)
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