My wife, Caitlin, and I have been fortunate enough to attend a number of weddings/receptions together, including our own. Our favourite part of the reception is the dancing, mostly because we love watching everyone else have fun and get down. There are a number of archetypes that can be found at any particular reception dance because when you mix loud, nostalgic hits, middle aged people and alcohol the results are often spectacular, a veritable wonder to behold. And so, I present the wedding reception dancing archetypes:
1. The "1 & 3" Clapper: this is the person who hasn't gotten in touch with their "soul" side and claps on the first and third beats of the bar rather than on the traditional second and fourth beats of the bar. This is kind of like Christians in church who are often to be found battling between the two persuasion during any given service. The 1 & 3 Clapper will never fail to find their trusty first beat, but looks and sounds spectacularly awkward to anyone with any musical training or just plain rhythmic timing. Awesome.
2. The Bulldozers: bulldozers are couples who are concentrating so hard on their dance steps that they find it difficult, if not impossible, to navigate around the other couples on the dance floor--essentially becoming human steamrollers. These are the ones that have me and Caitlin lookng over our shoulders to ensure that we don't get plowed! They are, however, unfailingly gracious in forgiving any run-ins that occur as well as being frantically enthusiastic about pretty much anything that the DJ decides to play.
3. The Elaine: ever seen Elaine Benes, the famed character from Seinfeld, dance? As she was described in one show by George Costanza, one of the other main characters, "it's like a full-body dry heave". The Elaine involves every single part of his/her body in the act of dancing in kind of a herky-jerky, arhythmic, projectile vomit type of movement. It essentially defies description. This may cause concern to other dancers on the floor who may be under the impression that The Elaine is suffering epileptic convulsions in their midst and thus run to aid and be struck with an out-of-control limb.
4. The Flailer: one of the most well-known and beloved of the archtypes, it is very self explanatory. There is no rhyme or reason, just a lot of limbs flung around passionately, a throwback to some kind of demented version of the '67 Summer of Love.
5. "The Beat of Their Own Drummer": this is the person who dances to a beat that they must have in their head, because it bears little or no resemblance to the tempo found in the song blasting through the speakers. I truly admire this person for being able to completely ignore the music and do their own thing, especially if he/she can incorporate jazz hands, pointy fingers, or the white man's overbite (as me for a demo if I don't know what I mean). Now that takes a type of talent that I lack--I guess I'm just a slave to the rhythm...
6. The Yodeller: this is the person who let's out ear-splitting war whoops at random intervals or just anytime that someone around them executes what he/she deems to be a particularly dextrous move. Really, you only have to glance at him/her to get a good bellow. They are often very enthusiastic dancers and even more often very drunk.
7. The Friendly Grandpa: this is the cutest of the archetypes, but don't be fooled by the cuteness. Pops likes to get down and with all the best talent available on the floor. A personal favourite...
8. The Waltzers: these are the couples that waltz unabashedly to everything from Paul Anka to Sinead O'Connor to AC/DC, mostly because it is all they know how to do or they believe that waltzing is the highest form of dance.
9. The Marathoner: this is the person who is so serious about dancing, and who has such candor and conviction, that he/she never leaves the floor and dances like his/her very life depends on it. This person is normally drenched in sweat, breathing heavily, and pretty boozed up. Often, he/she wakes up the next day with a very sore neck and a fierce hangover.
10. The Dance Dictator: this person, most of the time male, is such a strong leader during a couples dance that it looks as if he has kidnapped his partner and is trying to induce vertigo in her through constant movement and a lot of spinning. He holds her very close and covers all quadrants of the dance floor in a very short of amount of time, often making such abrupt changes in direction that if he were not holding her so close, she would either sprawl awkwardly or even fall embarrassingly. Luckily for, his firm grip and acute navigational skills do not allow for such a thing to happen.
I am sure that there are many other archetypes at wedding reception dances, but these are very consistent and easily observable at the majority of these gatherings. Feel free to comment and enlighten me on any others archetypes you may have observed during your attendance at these events--I'm all ears...
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3 comments:
What about the truly quality dancers like myself *cough* who bring their ‘A’ game to weddings and have clearly been practicing some sweet, sweet moves? :P
Some part of me always admires the waltzers, mostly because I've always wanted to learn, and they just make it look so darn easy!
What kind of dancer are you?
nice list.
i'd like to make an addition: the "growing /spinning tree" dancers.
rarely seen at weddings, but often found en masse at outdoor festivals, the growing/spinning tree dancer is easily recognized by their mix of fast and slow swirls that start low to the ground and rise in a twisting motion. think time lapse photography of a seed sprouting.
other notable markers of these dancers include closed eyes, the scent of patchouli or nag champa, and a generous amount of leg hair.
You may not have encountered these at a wedding near you yet, but you no doubt will in the future: they are the Tangueros.
These ardent couples dance as is they are the only two people in the room, but with such elegant dance moves, they're sure to draw throngs of admirerers. Like the waltzers, they'll dance their dance to whatever music is playing, not because it's the only thing they know, but because they're addicted to tango. Learn it yourself and you'll know why.
Argentine Tango. Highly recommended for all brides and grooms-to-be who want to dance together, especially if you don't want to be upstaged at your own wedding reception.
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