Saturday, September 23, 2006

further commentary on Onterrible

I realize that my new friends Michael and Paul will probably rip me for this post, if they read it, but I am going to take this opportunity to further rant about some issues I have encountered since I became a resident of London, Ontario. So, without further ado, I will proceed to outline a few things that Ontario doesn't believe in:

1. Advance left turn signals: London is a reasonably sized city with heavy traffic at most times of the day. So, would it not make sense to have some advance left turn signals to increase the flow and efficiency of traffic? You would think so, but apparently in Ontario that makes far too much sense so they have declined to utilize them effectively. The few that exist are literally 3 or 4 seconds not matter how long the line of cars wanting to turn left. I sat at a light where I was the 4th or 5th car in line and it took 4 lights just to turn left!! This kind of crap would not fly in Victoria, that's for damn sure!

2. Driving safely: Now I have heard from certain people (not naming names Launa Kremler) that Victorians drive infinitely slower than the rest of supposed "normal" Canadians. I am not even going to touch on vehicle velocity, but rather just focus on the mental stability of the driving population--oh wait...THEY DON'T HAVE ANY! I have seen some crazy stuff since I have been here, including the most "interesting" (for the sake of keeping my language polite) u-turn that I have ever witnessed up at school (Michael McAlpine, don't even try to tell me it wasn't that bad!) So I say to London drivers: pedestrians aren't targets to be mowed down at will, cyclists are not to be run off the road, it's GOOD to look both ways before you pull out, and sitting in someone's blind spot and/or tailgaiting thems is NOT COOL!

3. The existence of the rest of the nation: Yes all you friends back home, it's true: Ontarioans actually do believe that they are the centre of the universe and the rest of Canada, if they choose to believe it exists, is secondary or tertiary. Call it Western alienation if you will, but it is pretty funny to listen to certain people comment on the rest of the nation.

All these things haveing been said, I have met some great people out here already, including fellow first year students in the MLIS Program at UWO and so if you read this, take it as the rantings of a frustrated British Columbian trying to come to grips with being away from the ocean and mountains and knowing that the snow is coming. But don't be surprised if you see more sentiments of this sort on my blog's my blog and I can write whatever I want! END OF STORY!


Anonymous said...

Mental stability, I love it. Maybe its because most of BC is high on weed, but it only takes a federal election to realize how small and insignificant our province is (six whole seats if I remember). I guess young Bingham you will have to learn how to get groceries, go to school, and find ways to the drug store to buy profilactics by only turning right. Not to say that those are the only three things you do out there, but then again it's not winter yet!!!!!

Michael Lambert

James Kingsley said...

ah yes matty, it is your blog and you can post whatever you want. but this is my comment and i can comment whatever i want. and trust me, you don't want me to to have to go to and call victoria's drivers out publically now do you.

being the born-and-raised londoner that i am, and now living in victoria, i feel i should remind you of a few of victoria's driving, um, shall we say "frustrations." for every complaint you've got out there (and i believe you) i've got one for out here. i figure most difference are just on separate sides of the speed limit (and yellow line). case in point:

1. left turn signals
victorian's drive so slowly that on average only 3 drivers get through an advance green anyway. PLUS, the advance greens out here also include an advanced red. that's right, apparently west coast drivers are too dumb to see if there's any oncoming traffice and therefore there are lights dedicated solely to those in the left lane. you know what i'm talking about...lame.

2. the "far lane turn."
if i am turning left, and you are driving toward the same intersection and making a right turn, and if there are two lanes on the road we are both turning onto - we can both make the turn at the same time: you go in the lane closest to you, and i'll go in the lane closest to me. simple. UNLESS we are driving in victoria, in which case, you will turn into the far lane EVERY TIME and I will have to screech to a stop mid-intersection.

tit for tat brother. tit for tat. i'd say "its on!" but its already over.

oh yeah, and don't even get me started on the "centre of the universe" crap. if i had a hippie for every time i heard somebody out here say how self-centred ontario was i'd be throwing woodstock 3. if canandian's pride themselves in not being american, than bc'ers pride themselves in not being from ontario. thing is, nearly half of them are...myself included. i say we all just turn on the cbc and get over it.

and one more thing. don't even bother responding to this comment in the comments yourself - if you're gonna step up, let's take this prime time.

michael said...

East is east and West is west. They each have there individual strengths, weaknesses, quirks and biases.

I've lived in both and for me,
West Is Best.

beth said...

" will turn into the far lane EVERY TIME and I will have to screech to a stop mid-intersection."

i've been driving in victoria for nigh on 12 years and that's never happened to me. and yes, i do pride myself on not being from ontario. :P

Dawn said...

Hhhmmm, Is someone whistfully thinking of what might have been in good old Nova Scotia, where they drive as slow as Victorians, and cars stop for pedestrians at the side of the road (even ones who aren't looking to cross)? Actually, that's pretty annoying too.

Better you just make the adjustment, boy. Enjoy that snow!

Anonymous said...

James Kingsley sucks!

Bingham's little sis